A Letter to HIV from Mom

This is a big moment for my mom, we don't normally talk about HIV and when she offered to write a letter to HIV out of the blue I was very humbled and offered her to publish it for her.  I know she would love your feedback and support as she continues to work through the emotions of her son living with HIV.  Feel free to comment as I know she'll be following this post.  - Thanks Mom - your son, Tommy.

A Letter to HIV from Mom

Hey there….you…..that’s right I’m talking to you with the big red HIV letters.  Didn’t think I was noticing you. Think again!!!

You just think you’re so sneaky wandering around inside those who don’t even realize that you came to visit, and usually when it’s already too late.  And the wonderful gifts that you bring along…. Karposi’s Sarcoma, pneumonia, extreme cases of diarrhea and vomiting… WOW!!!!

I just love giving gifts like that to people I love. And let us not forget the possible end gift…DEATH!!!! That’s a good one.

JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????? Don’t you realize that the human race has no want or need of you, and yet you still persist in trying to hang around doing your slow & painful dirty work. Do you have any idea how many people you have hurt, how many hearts you have broken, and how many families you have destroyed????

Some people say that you are a wrath of God. But the God that I love & believe in would not send you to wreak havoc upon his people, especially the young & innocent. Take poor Ryan White for instance, what was that all about? A boy from a middle class family became a superstar certainly not by his own choosing. Thanks to you, people mocked him, feared him & hated him and then you had the nerve to take his life at such an early age and leave his mother without a son , devastated, and broken hearted for the rest of her life.  Nice going HIV, are you proud of yourself???

Now, let’s talk about me for a moment, yes, me a mother with fear in her heart and tears in her eyes.  Thanks so much for coming into my world! I got the news of your arrival one night about 10 years ago. You just had to take my son too, haven’t you had enough sons and daughters already?  I did not bring my son into this world only to watch him suffer with your torturous effects, having to worry about him taking his medications every day,  hoping that every time he sees his Infectious Disease Dr., that the news of his stats are good. Try sitting on the phone with the news that your only son is in quarantine and no one knows what’s wrong with him. I know, you just wanted to remind him I’m Still Here!! So what are your plans for my son? Up till now he’s been able to walk along side of you and beat the odds, but what will tomorrow or next week, month or year bring? Or will you strike again and destroy the only son I have?

Then, there is my friend who you visited on behalf of her cheating husband. I’ll never forget the morning I also got the same call. She had no idea you were hanging around till she saw her Dr. and you were with her for a few years before she discovered your presence. Maybe her cheating husband deserved you, but not her. She was a good faithful wife and mother, and oh yes, the scare of her two daughters possibly having you too. Geesh… you just don’t quit.

You are a God awful creature, a monster inside. Where did you come from, and why are you here? How many more people have to become and ill and die before you just give up and go away. Medical science will get rid of you once and for all one day, and I pray that I’m alive to see that happen. There’s nothing I would like more than to dance on YOUR grave. Go away HIV and take all your minions with you. Please leave the human race alone, we have enough problems, stop making us worry, stop spending our money and STOP HURTING THOSE WE LOVE!

P.S.  Did I forget to mention that my son’s stats are good and undetectable??? You can be controlled. Ha, how that make you feel?

MOM

                                                                                                       

VERY SERIOUS: How the 'Fiscal Cliff" will affect HIV/AIDS Services

This is taken from the San Francisco AIDS Foundation - http://www.sfaf.org/hiv-info/hot-topics/from-the-experts/the-fiscal-cliff.html - I encourage everyone to contact their elected officials (see link below on who and how to do this) 

With the election behind us, all eyes are on Washington as lawmakers face the looming “fiscal cliff.” It’s making big headlines, but what does it mean for people living with HIV and what can we do about it? We pose those questions to Ernest Hopkins, director of legislative affairs at San Francisco AIDS Foundation.

What is the “fiscal cliff?”
The fiscal cliff is a term used to describe the confluence of serious budgetary decisions that must be addressed by government in order to avoid dramatic consequences. If Congress does nothing, cuts mandated by the failure of the Joint Congressional Budget Committee to reach an agreement will go into effect at the beginning of January 2013. Sequestration, as the cuts are called, was never really designed to be enacted. It was viewed as a “poison pill” incentive to avoid a mutually unacceptable outcome for both parties. If it is enacted, sequestration would result in dramatic cuts to both defense and non-defense discretionarily funded programs.

Why should we be concerned about it?
Federal HIV/AIDS programs are entirely funded through discretionary funding that is determined annually by Congress. The cuts proposed to discretionary budgets would automatically impact all program line items threatening to oust thousands of people living with HIV/AIDS from many of our most important and effective programs like the AIDS Drug Assistance Program (ADAP), housing assistance, and medical care through Ryan White. HIV prevention programs at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention and thousands of research projects at the National Institutes of Health also face cuts or elimination.

These cuts really would impact some of our most vulnerable citizens?
It would hit them hardest.  Uninsured and underinsured people who rely on federal programs to address their health care and support-service needs would risk losing access to services that they consider essential to their health, well-being, and quality of life.

Is there anything we, as average citizens, can do about it?

The President and Democratic caucuses of the House and Senate have said that any budget agreement must be balanced. This means raising revenues, or taxes, to mitigate the size of cuts needed in discretionary programs. If you believe that federal government programs like ADAP and Housing Opportunities for Persons with AIDS (HOPWA), that provide a critical safety net to people living with HIV, are important, please contact your congressional leadership in the House and Senate to let them know that you care about these programs and do not want them cut. A personal visit to the district office is best, written letters are next best, phone calls to the district office are good, and emails tied to a constituent address are also very helpful.

FIND YOUR DISTRICT OFFICE 

Additionally, policy experts at San Francisco AIDS Foundation are busy meeting with members of Congress to make the case for people living with HIV/AIDS. The foundation is a member of the national AIDS Budget and Appropriations Coalition (ABAC) and the AIDS community is working with the larger health care community to make the case for essential, safety net programs.

What is the most important message for members of Congress to hear?
Over the last 20 years, Congress has funded the Ryan White CARE Act. It is the largest single disease discretionary program and is a model for comprehensive, community-based medical care and supportive services. As we integrate people living with HIV into the broader framework established under the Affordable Care Act, we will need resources to transition and coordinate seamless access to care for people living with HIV, and Ryan White can provide those resources.

For people at risk for HIV, new research reinforces the critical importance of routine testing and early access to treatment. Early HIV treatment improves the health of the individual and also dramatically reduces the viral burden in communities. That, in turn, reduces the likelihood of new infections. Early investments in preventive health services ultimately reduce overall health care costs on federal, state, and local systems.

The Medicare and Medicaid programs are essential to people living with HIV/AIDS, the elderly, the low-income, and individuals with disabilities and chronic diseases. They are truly the lifeline for millions of Americans and must not be undermined, but strengthened, at a time when the aging population in the U.S. is increasing. Now more than ever, the partnerships between community-based health care organizations and government-centered systems must be enhanced and maximized.

Important World AIDS Day Message

World AIDS Day 2012
"Working Together for an AIDS-free Generation"

Nine years ago I stood before a group of my peers at Penn State University. It was just 6 weeks after finding out my own positive status. For the first time, I shared with my peers the struggles I've had dealing with the news that I was HIV-positive. I wanted to share my emotions and humanize my story to the point they would listen. I wanted to make a difference.

Here we are again, on the eve of another World AIDS Day. A day where we continue to fight to have our message heard. Today I reviewed a report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that relayed alarming news about our younger generation; the generation for which I'd expect to have the most information and education about HIV/AIDS. It's shocking to think that about 1,000 young people ages 13 to 24 are newly infected with HIV each month. This accounts for more than a quarter of the 50,000 new HIV infections each year. And 60% of young people who are HIV-positive do not know their HIV status. Nowadays according to CDC Director Thomas Frieden, the lifetime cost of treating someone with HIV is about $400,000. That's $4 million in healthcare each month.

This year's theme for World AIDS Day is Working Together for an AIDS-free Generation. So much discussion has been made about an "AIDS-free Generation." I caution our community on this. Although our community has made many strides and successes this year, this type of language could send a message to these young folks that an end is near. It could suggest that the risk is less important with an AIDS-free generation on the horizon.

I believe we can "make it to zero." We have the tools and the knowledge we need to end it. But we all have to work together to get there. This means those who are negative need to do their part to remain negative. Protecting yourself from HIV and other sexually transmitted infections is the responsible thing to do and is a huge part of your role in reducing the spread of HIV. Remember: this is your health and you should assume that all of your partners are infected with some sort of sexually transmitted infection. You should be responsible for your health by always protecting yourself. You should have conversations with your partner about your sexual history and even get tested together.

HIV testing is more accessible than ever before with the recent FDA approved over-the-counter rapid/oral HIV test. Clinics are still testing for free and offering additional support needed by some. The sooner one knows they are HIV-positive the sooner they can get into care, the sooner they are informed so that they are not infecting others. We can't forget about needle exchange programs, which are vital in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Those who use injectable drugs can help reduce the spread by exchanging their needles for clean needles—this will help get us to zero.  

For my fellow pozoids, those who are already HIV-positive, you know what this life is like. Much of this fight to get to zero is also up to us to be responsible in our actions. You and I can do this; we can help bring this epidemic to an end. We need to make sure you stay in care and get the medications you need (thanks to the Affordable Care Act this will be much easier). To be honest, the responsible—however difficult—thing to do, if we want to play our part in getting to zero, is to tell our partners—all of them—of our status.

Getting to zero is possible, however not without the help of everyone. HIV began one person at a time, and it will end one person at a time.

TOM DONOHUE is the founding director of Who’s Positive, a national organization that humanizes HIV through firsthand accounts of people living with the virus. He also sits on the board of trustees of the National Association of People With AIDS. http://www.tomdonohue.org  

Hook-up Sites - Grindr, Adam4adam, Manhunt & BBRT

I originally posted this on August 18th on whospositive.org - It's a thought provoking article hence the reason I am re-posting it. Since I wrote this some things have changed - like me now in a relationship - however my thoughts remain the same.  - Tom Donohue 

I wonder, how many people have been infected with HIV as a result of the nearly instant ability online hookup sites such as Bareback Real Time (BBRT), Adam4Adam, Manhunt, Grindr and others have on people.

I don't blame these sites however they do help enable folks who are looking for hookups to - well hook up. Don't get me wrong - I too have listed myself on these sites, and recently I have deleted my accounts with the intention of going back to the old days to meet new folks. Well, sort of. I've committed myself to getting actively more involved in my own community - this will allow me to find more likeminded people to associate with in a non-sexual atmosphere. I've also turned to places like Facebook, although about 107 miles from DC, I've met some really awesome guys in a group called DC Hope. It's a community that hosts social events and some of the folks I have met from this group I have socialized with outside of the group.

Online social hookup sites enable those seeking sex to find it. In some cases, GPS has allowed for you to find 'friends' in your neighborhood allowing for just minutes till you are able to engage in some sort of (generally prearranged) sexual act. I know folks in some cases have met the love of their lives and are having a great relationship - in those rare instances these sites can be a great resources. Realistically we all know, deep in inside most folks do not use these sites as dating sites.

It's not just sex. It's drugs too. More and more individuals seeking sex are looking to 'parTy'. No, it’s not your typical college get together. The 'T' refers to crystal meth, or 'Tina" and the party refers to sex, group sex. In most cases, random anonymous sex in groups and typically HIV status is generally assumed or never discussed. Some sites such as bbrt, or adam4adam actually have fields you can search to seek out other folks who use drugs. This too enables guys to use or even find drugs. You can even post parties - now, both of these sites do not promote drug usage nor can you post ads which suggest you want to use drugs, but come on - there is a large population on these sites who use these sites solely for that reason.

Let’s get real about online hookup sites. They are not dating sites – I don’t care how much you convince yourself they are – they’re not. If your boyfriend is on Grindr – he’s probably cheating on you – surprise! This is 2012, every computer and every phone has a camera on it. If they don’t have a picture, there is a reason – however I do understand those folks who are not out wanting to get in on the craze of online look ups, honey just know, when you hook up – your community instantly knows about you – for the most part the ‘gays’ are usually not a silent partner.

Look, my post is intended to pick on the social gay hookup sites. I myself needed to realize that I was not going to find my best friend, my partner and the one I want to share the rest of my life with on these sites, it hasn’t happened in 10 years, I need to switch it up. That, I am ready for. I know the sites can be good for some – some actually do meet the love of their lives, however for most, it’s a hook up, it’s almost like an online bath house where you can whittle down your perfect guy by using the search option or you can refresh the list until that perfect hunk of a picture shows up, but then what? You send a wink or a oink and the conversation turns to how big are you, or whether you are a top or bottom. What ever happened to the wooing? Has that been redefined or has it disappeared?

I sure hope not.

This is the new Tom, a single very caring romantic & sensuous guy who seeks his life partner, someone to share life with and its experiences with. I don’t care if you are a top or bottom, or how big your cock is, I want to know about you, your hobbies, likes, politics. I want to experience the funny, goofy side of you, the things only we’ll know about, I want to see you disheveled in the morning, I want to make us dinner or hit a movie. I’d like to grab that first kiss when either of us don’t expect it, and fall asleep with you mistakenly while watching a movie on the couch. Meet me, the new Tom, a guy who has renewed his commitment to making a difference in this epidemic, who is not perfect and has flaws but who has made some great changes that make me a much better person and a much better friend.

Mark today. Today is a great day, a day that changes everything.

All Hands on Deck for People Living With HIV and AIDS After Hurricane Sandy

Janet Weinberg

Chief Operating Officer, Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC)

All Hands on Deck for People Living With HIV and AIDS After Hurricane Sandy

It happens almost every four weeks: A surge of clients comes to Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) in pursuit of meals and bags of groceries. For people living with HIV and AIDS whose main source of income is their Social Security disability checks, money often runs out near the end of the month. At that point they are not able to buy food, and they come in for help.

Many have to survive the "in-between days" until their next Social Security check arrives. I expected the end of October to be no different, but then Hurricane Sandy arrived in its cataclysmic fury. As a tragic result, many people in NYC living with or affected by HIV and AIDS were hit hard. Our clients are among the poorest and most vulnerable New Yorkers, and the outcome of the hurricane continues to have a disproportionate impact on them. These men, women and families continue to be without housing, food, electricity, clothing and HIV medications and need basic humanitarian support and someone with whom they can talk. In fact, on Monday, Oct. 29, despite the severe storm warnings and the rain, several clients braved the weather to walk from as far away as the Bronx and Brooklyn to our offices on West 33rd Street for a hot meal. This was their only meal of the day, and for some the only meal until GMHC was able to reopen the following Wednesday. Well over 400 meals were served in the heart of the crisis, even when subways had not resumed service, with clients walking long distances to receive food and support.

HIV-positive clients haven't been the only ones in crisis. One high-risk, HIV-negative client needed to see three staff persons -- our psychologist, our attorney and our benefits advocate -- because the crises he was experiencing seemed insurmountable. The rest of that week hundreds more came through our doors needing urgent care. Our Meals Program's food supplies, including items such as bread and salad ingredients, began to dip because trucks had stopped delivering. Though our chef, Wilson Rodriguez, is very creative, worrisome feelings started to set in about what could happen during the week of Nov. 5 if deliveries did not resume. When a person living with HIV or AIDS does not have food to eat, there are serious consequences, particularly if their HIV medications have to be taken with food. Therefore, adhering to treatment becomes jeopardized, and anxiety about food takes root. Each day we were reminded how critical it is that we are here for our clients, providing meals and bags of groceries, linkages to housing and crisis counseling.

Even with the emotional intensity of the week, there were heartwarming, inspiring moments. I was deeply moved when board members, volunteers and staff members found ways to travel to our offices, pitched in to cook and serve meals and distributed bags of groceries from our Keith Haring Food Pantry Program. This was a significant, "all-hands-on-deck" situation. Several clients told us how appreciative they were that we remained open. "If you weren't open today, I would have eaten nothing but peanut butter," shared one gentleman.

Close to the end of that week, our Meals Program finally received a food delivery. At the same time we were even able to host a wedding ceremony at GMHC! Two of the agency's friends, Lawrence Neil Chanen and John Eryn Burkhalter, were married in my office. Their wedding faced cancellation due to the hurricane. I took photos, and my spouse, the Hon. Rosalyn H. Richter, an associate justice of the appellate division of the New York State Supreme Court, officiated. It was a touching event. GMHC provided yet another safe space in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy to this couple.

During the second week after the hurricane, we made a decision to cancel our annual fundraiser, Fashion Forward, in order to continue focusing on our core mission: providing direct support to people living with and affected by HIV and AIDS. A new relief fund, Hurricane Relief Forward, was launched to continue our disaster relief work, as our efforts increase daily with the growing demand for immediate services.

It is clear that the recovery from the hurricane has only begun, and it will be a long journey to heal and rebuild. Yet what is even clearer is the importance of all of us pulling together to be of service to each other. Our hands and our hearts are on deck.

Source: Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janet-weinberg/all-hands-on-deck-for-people-living-with-hiv-and-aids-after-hurricane-sandy_b_2118602.html

 

Who's Positive: The OraQuick® In-Home HIV Test

Who's Positive explores the newly FDA approved OraQuick® which is designed for at home use and gives results within 20 minutes.