Important World AIDS Day Message

World AIDS Day 2012
"Working Together for an AIDS-free Generation"

Nine years ago I stood before a group of my peers at Penn State University. It was just 6 weeks after finding out my own positive status. For the first time, I shared with my peers the struggles I've had dealing with the news that I was HIV-positive. I wanted to share my emotions and humanize my story to the point they would listen. I wanted to make a difference.

Here we are again, on the eve of another World AIDS Day. A day where we continue to fight to have our message heard. Today I reviewed a report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that relayed alarming news about our younger generation; the generation for which I'd expect to have the most information and education about HIV/AIDS. It's shocking to think that about 1,000 young people ages 13 to 24 are newly infected with HIV each month. This accounts for more than a quarter of the 50,000 new HIV infections each year. And 60% of young people who are HIV-positive do not know their HIV status. Nowadays according to CDC Director Thomas Frieden, the lifetime cost of treating someone with HIV is about $400,000. That's $4 million in healthcare each month.

This year's theme for World AIDS Day is Working Together for an AIDS-free Generation. So much discussion has been made about an "AIDS-free Generation." I caution our community on this. Although our community has made many strides and successes this year, this type of language could send a message to these young folks that an end is near. It could suggest that the risk is less important with an AIDS-free generation on the horizon.

I believe we can "make it to zero." We have the tools and the knowledge we need to end it. But we all have to work together to get there. This means those who are negative need to do their part to remain negative. Protecting yourself from HIV and other sexually transmitted infections is the responsible thing to do and is a huge part of your role in reducing the spread of HIV. Remember: this is your health and you should assume that all of your partners are infected with some sort of sexually transmitted infection. You should be responsible for your health by always protecting yourself. You should have conversations with your partner about your sexual history and even get tested together.

HIV testing is more accessible than ever before with the recent FDA approved over-the-counter rapid/oral HIV test. Clinics are still testing for free and offering additional support needed by some. The sooner one knows they are HIV-positive the sooner they can get into care, the sooner they are informed so that they are not infecting others. We can't forget about needle exchange programs, which are vital in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Those who use injectable drugs can help reduce the spread by exchanging their needles for clean needles—this will help get us to zero.  

For my fellow pozoids, those who are already HIV-positive, you know what this life is like. Much of this fight to get to zero is also up to us to be responsible in our actions. You and I can do this; we can help bring this epidemic to an end. We need to make sure you stay in care and get the medications you need (thanks to the Affordable Care Act this will be much easier). To be honest, the responsible—however difficult—thing to do, if we want to play our part in getting to zero, is to tell our partners—all of them—of our status.

Getting to zero is possible, however not without the help of everyone. HIV began one person at a time, and it will end one person at a time.

TOM DONOHUE is the founding director of Who’s Positive, a national organization that humanizes HIV through firsthand accounts of people living with the virus. He also sits on the board of trustees of the National Association of People With AIDS. http://www.tomdonohue.org  

Hook-up Sites - Grindr, Adam4adam, Manhunt & BBRT

I originally posted this on August 18th on whospositive.org - It's a thought provoking article hence the reason I am re-posting it. Since I wrote this some things have changed - like me now in a relationship - however my thoughts remain the same.  - Tom Donohue 

I wonder, how many people have been infected with HIV as a result of the nearly instant ability online hookup sites such as Bareback Real Time (BBRT), Adam4Adam, Manhunt, Grindr and others have on people.

I don't blame these sites however they do help enable folks who are looking for hookups to - well hook up. Don't get me wrong - I too have listed myself on these sites, and recently I have deleted my accounts with the intention of going back to the old days to meet new folks. Well, sort of. I've committed myself to getting actively more involved in my own community - this will allow me to find more likeminded people to associate with in a non-sexual atmosphere. I've also turned to places like Facebook, although about 107 miles from DC, I've met some really awesome guys in a group called DC Hope. It's a community that hosts social events and some of the folks I have met from this group I have socialized with outside of the group.

Online social hookup sites enable those seeking sex to find it. In some cases, GPS has allowed for you to find 'friends' in your neighborhood allowing for just minutes till you are able to engage in some sort of (generally prearranged) sexual act. I know folks in some cases have met the love of their lives and are having a great relationship - in those rare instances these sites can be a great resources. Realistically we all know, deep in inside most folks do not use these sites as dating sites.

It's not just sex. It's drugs too. More and more individuals seeking sex are looking to 'parTy'. No, it’s not your typical college get together. The 'T' refers to crystal meth, or 'Tina" and the party refers to sex, group sex. In most cases, random anonymous sex in groups and typically HIV status is generally assumed or never discussed. Some sites such as bbrt, or adam4adam actually have fields you can search to seek out other folks who use drugs. This too enables guys to use or even find drugs. You can even post parties - now, both of these sites do not promote drug usage nor can you post ads which suggest you want to use drugs, but come on - there is a large population on these sites who use these sites solely for that reason.

Let’s get real about online hookup sites. They are not dating sites – I don’t care how much you convince yourself they are – they’re not. If your boyfriend is on Grindr – he’s probably cheating on you – surprise! This is 2012, every computer and every phone has a camera on it. If they don’t have a picture, there is a reason – however I do understand those folks who are not out wanting to get in on the craze of online look ups, honey just know, when you hook up – your community instantly knows about you – for the most part the ‘gays’ are usually not a silent partner.

Look, my post is intended to pick on the social gay hookup sites. I myself needed to realize that I was not going to find my best friend, my partner and the one I want to share the rest of my life with on these sites, it hasn’t happened in 10 years, I need to switch it up. That, I am ready for. I know the sites can be good for some – some actually do meet the love of their lives, however for most, it’s a hook up, it’s almost like an online bath house where you can whittle down your perfect guy by using the search option or you can refresh the list until that perfect hunk of a picture shows up, but then what? You send a wink or a oink and the conversation turns to how big are you, or whether you are a top or bottom. What ever happened to the wooing? Has that been redefined or has it disappeared?

I sure hope not.

This is the new Tom, a single very caring romantic & sensuous guy who seeks his life partner, someone to share life with and its experiences with. I don’t care if you are a top or bottom, or how big your cock is, I want to know about you, your hobbies, likes, politics. I want to experience the funny, goofy side of you, the things only we’ll know about, I want to see you disheveled in the morning, I want to make us dinner or hit a movie. I’d like to grab that first kiss when either of us don’t expect it, and fall asleep with you mistakenly while watching a movie on the couch. Meet me, the new Tom, a guy who has renewed his commitment to making a difference in this epidemic, who is not perfect and has flaws but who has made some great changes that make me a much better person and a much better friend.

Mark today. Today is a great day, a day that changes everything.

All Hands on Deck for People Living With HIV and AIDS After Hurricane Sandy

Janet Weinberg

Chief Operating Officer, Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC)

All Hands on Deck for People Living With HIV and AIDS After Hurricane Sandy

It happens almost every four weeks: A surge of clients comes to Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) in pursuit of meals and bags of groceries. For people living with HIV and AIDS whose main source of income is their Social Security disability checks, money often runs out near the end of the month. At that point they are not able to buy food, and they come in for help.

Many have to survive the "in-between days" until their next Social Security check arrives. I expected the end of October to be no different, but then Hurricane Sandy arrived in its cataclysmic fury. As a tragic result, many people in NYC living with or affected by HIV and AIDS were hit hard. Our clients are among the poorest and most vulnerable New Yorkers, and the outcome of the hurricane continues to have a disproportionate impact on them. These men, women and families continue to be without housing, food, electricity, clothing and HIV medications and need basic humanitarian support and someone with whom they can talk. In fact, on Monday, Oct. 29, despite the severe storm warnings and the rain, several clients braved the weather to walk from as far away as the Bronx and Brooklyn to our offices on West 33rd Street for a hot meal. This was their only meal of the day, and for some the only meal until GMHC was able to reopen the following Wednesday. Well over 400 meals were served in the heart of the crisis, even when subways had not resumed service, with clients walking long distances to receive food and support.

HIV-positive clients haven't been the only ones in crisis. One high-risk, HIV-negative client needed to see three staff persons -- our psychologist, our attorney and our benefits advocate -- because the crises he was experiencing seemed insurmountable. The rest of that week hundreds more came through our doors needing urgent care. Our Meals Program's food supplies, including items such as bread and salad ingredients, began to dip because trucks had stopped delivering. Though our chef, Wilson Rodriguez, is very creative, worrisome feelings started to set in about what could happen during the week of Nov. 5 if deliveries did not resume. When a person living with HIV or AIDS does not have food to eat, there are serious consequences, particularly if their HIV medications have to be taken with food. Therefore, adhering to treatment becomes jeopardized, and anxiety about food takes root. Each day we were reminded how critical it is that we are here for our clients, providing meals and bags of groceries, linkages to housing and crisis counseling.

Even with the emotional intensity of the week, there were heartwarming, inspiring moments. I was deeply moved when board members, volunteers and staff members found ways to travel to our offices, pitched in to cook and serve meals and distributed bags of groceries from our Keith Haring Food Pantry Program. This was a significant, "all-hands-on-deck" situation. Several clients told us how appreciative they were that we remained open. "If you weren't open today, I would have eaten nothing but peanut butter," shared one gentleman.

Close to the end of that week, our Meals Program finally received a food delivery. At the same time we were even able to host a wedding ceremony at GMHC! Two of the agency's friends, Lawrence Neil Chanen and John Eryn Burkhalter, were married in my office. Their wedding faced cancellation due to the hurricane. I took photos, and my spouse, the Hon. Rosalyn H. Richter, an associate justice of the appellate division of the New York State Supreme Court, officiated. It was a touching event. GMHC provided yet another safe space in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy to this couple.

During the second week after the hurricane, we made a decision to cancel our annual fundraiser, Fashion Forward, in order to continue focusing on our core mission: providing direct support to people living with and affected by HIV and AIDS. A new relief fund, Hurricane Relief Forward, was launched to continue our disaster relief work, as our efforts increase daily with the growing demand for immediate services.

It is clear that the recovery from the hurricane has only begun, and it will be a long journey to heal and rebuild. Yet what is even clearer is the importance of all of us pulling together to be of service to each other. Our hands and our hearts are on deck.

Source: Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janet-weinberg/all-hands-on-deck-for-people-living-with-hiv-and-aids-after-hurricane-sandy_b_2118602.html